How to NOT Hate in your Relationships
Lately when I am talking with clients, I have noticed some themes related to relationships with other people. One is the amount of anger, disappointment, and sadness people have in some of their relationships with friends, family, spouses or partners and they don’t know what to do with it.
Is this you?
Let’s do something about it because any emotion left to fester can turn into bigger (usually negative) things.
Step 1. Check your attitude at the door.
The “I’m right, you’re wrong” does not apply here as it shuts down healthy communication. Check any black and white thinking at the door and open your mind to conversations different than in the past.
Step 2. Stay in your lane.
Before you start criticizing what others have done or not done, consider making observations about your feelings, wants, needs and beliefs about behaviors. For example, “I would feel less anxious if you would please not yell while we talk.”
Step 3. Give each other space.
Even if you are confined to a small space, there are ways to give each other physical and emotional distance. Consider scheduling time alone, connecting with people outside of your home or going out for a walk. Take time for yourself and model behaviors helpful to others, including kids.
Step 4. Schedule FUN
Take time away from talking about all the downsides of life. Get active, bring in humor, start a fun project or read a book together. Introducing something fun reduces the stress of the times.
Step 5. Talk about and acknowledge any differences.
Naming the way each of you are responding to the current circumstances can help each other feel heard and can reveal other underlying issues. This goes a long way in creating unity in your relationships.
The existence of stress is something most people will acknowledge in their lives. However, a lot of people also believe the ways they have been dealing with their stress will somehow miraculously change it even after XX amount of years of it not working. I hear it a lot and I want you to consider something . . .
What if I could reduce your stress? What would you say? I want to challenge you to try me. Up for the challenge?